MEDIA MONTH REFLECTION:
It has been quite some time since my last post which was an ode to my car radio. And I wish that I could say in this post things like, "I haven't updated because i have just loved not being on the internet", "I am feeling a sense of freedom without media", "This month has just been such a sweet time for me". So really, none of these comments have yet to come out of my mouth. Really, this month has been a lot of internal kicking and screaming. I might be the only one out there at 32 still throwing temper tantrums, but I admit it....I do. Thankfully, to those close to me, they are done on the inside (unless you are my husband and to this incredible man I do say I am sorry). But as I reflect on our Media fast I have learned quite a number of things about me. So if you are interested here goes:
*Hello, my name is Suzanne and I am a boundary pusher!
Give me a boundary and I will push back. I am sure my parents can attest to the fact that this has been me from the get go. I have birthed a really sweet and wonderful little life that is just this way as well. When I was 3, my Mom asked me to not push my sleeves up for my preschool picture. And what did I do? I stepped up to the beautiful portrait studio with the fireplace backdrop and right before I was to say "Cheese", I pushed both my sleeves up. You can see in my smile the look of satisfaction. And this month I have found that I will find anyway to orchestrate things in order for me to get my way. Yuck. I hate that I just admitted that and I hate that this is something in me. I found myself thinking that maybe "this" would be okay to do....I mean it is a Christian video with Jen Hatmaker in it....so surely it is acceptable! Yuck. When God created this amazing earth that we live on, one of the first things He did was set boundaries. There are naturally things that were put in place by God that are best for us. And that is just that. I am seeing in a very small way, how I find my bigger sinful me. I tend to dabble in the unseen sins. I love to justify my behavior because there is an end to the means and it is good. Or is it? Yuck.
*Hello Prayer Life!
At night time, in order for me to unwind and calm my brain I would have browsed facebook and twitter on my phone. I wanted to make sure that I was up on everything prior to going to bed, of course :) This was a habit that was sad to be without for awhile. And then I realized, I could use this unwind time to close out my day with the Lord. Lift up people who are close to me who are hurting or need His power. I was able to lay before Him matters on my heart and dreams that I have. I was able to intimately be in relationship with Him. In the middle of the day, I would find myself having a pocket of time to fill and journaling a prayer of worship to Him was how I used it! And you know what? I have seen a very active God this month! I have had many answered prayers this month and I believe that is because the margin has been created for me to SEE His activity in my life. Because the truth is, He is ALWAYS at work! But I have always been at work too.....so not being at work in the busy things have given me the eyes to see His work happening.
I started to learn the guitar! I have visions of me leading worship with a guitar strapped to me :) Haha! But I can play, "He's got the whole world in His hands" and that is exciting to me. I sat down and played the piano a lot at nights and in the afternoon. Playing old books of mine and learning new songs. Challenging myself in new ways with the passions I have has been awesome!
And let me say.....I don't miss TV that much. Never thought the words would come out of my mouth. But I have really loved my nights with candles lit, decaf coffee in hand, and a book to read or time to journal. Time to talk with Dave. Time to plan my day and the dinners ahead. Fold laundry and pray over the person who will be wearing them. Evenings have been a sweet time for me.
Next up....FOOD. Oh my stars....this one will be challenging!