Expanding at 18

How I love the early morning light of the Christmas tree and a lovely cup of Jo!  This is the way a morning should begin.  And can I tell you, I hardly slept at all last night so excited for this morning?  It took me about 2 hours to even fall asleep I was so excited!  Why, you ask?  Well, today is not special.  Actually it is the least special day we have had in nearly two weeks.  Dave returns to work today.  We return to normal routine.  The demands of some timelines are on me even more heavily now.  But the excitement in my heart was over getting up to meet the Lord this morning.  With the coming of a fresh year often comes fresh goals.  Fresh starts.  And this year was no different for me.  I will have to admit that I am not a natural "goal setter".  Setting goals.....and well.....accomplishing goals was something that I had to train myself in.  I am spontaneous by nature.  I am relational by nature.  If I am in the middle of a task and something comes up....I go.  If someone calls or wants to do something.....I make that happen.  Just how I have always been built.  But I know the good in having goals and accomplishing them.  It feels great!  I also know the good in learning discipline.  And I do emphasize the word "learn".

But for the past two years I have done something a little different on the brink of a new year.  I have chosen a word.  Just one.  A word that will be my focus for the year.  And this has been profound for me.  And I am excited to see how this year will be woven.  The idea came from www.myoneword.org  A pastor challenged his church to picking one word for the year and well....the idea exploded from there.  My word for this year you ask?  

ex*pand

verb:  To make larger.  Undergo a continuous change

Synonyms:  extend, enlarge, widen, develop, spread, dilate

I know what you are thinking.....this was not what you were thinking.  Well, to be honest, me too!  I sort of was hoping for a fancy word this year.....but this was the one.  And I have already seen the Lord show up.  And if I look at my year in front of me so far, there are plenty of opportunities for me to expand.  While watching part of Passion 2013 last night, Louie Giglio spoke about expecting God to do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine.  Expanding your belief in Him.  I have an opportunity that has dropped in my lap February where I will expand my trust for the Lord.  This week I will begin a 10 week course on Learning the Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith----expanding my knowledge.  And this morning.  The morning I was so excited about?  Well it was because I was getting up to be with Jesus.  Because this year, if I accomplish one thing, may it be the habit of getting up each morning to meet with Him before anything else.  Talk about expand!  I prayed that He would expand my knowledge for Him and my love for Him!  That is why I could barely sleep....because I know Him.  And I know He was even more excited to meet me this morning as well.  And meet me He did!

We did get our December numbers on Monday.  There was movement.  And you know what?  To be honest?  I am sort of sick of wait list numbers.  They sort of bring this sense of full hopes and then crash and burns.  Maybe it is because the wait itself is so long now.  It is sort of like being in your 9th month of pregnancy and each day you think, "is this the day?" I remember being pregnant with Maren and her due date came and went.  I couldn't believe it.  For a whole week I walked the mall.  Each day waiting and waiting and waiting.  I wonder what it would have been like to not have had a date.  One day that marks when you are "due" to have the baby.  Maybe my attitude toward wait list numbers will change, but this is where I am now :)  One of my adoption momma friends keep tracks of months in the wait.  I think this is something I am ready for too!  No worries....for all you numbers people I will continue to post our wait list numbers.  But for me I want to focus on what the Lord is teaching me in the wait as opposed to trying to get out of the wait!  My heart sort of needs this right now!  

January 2013 marks for us 18 months of waiting!  

And so I expect that this year the Lord will expand me in ways I do not even know now through waiting on His plan to be fulfilled.  I expect that the Lord will grow me, love on me, challenge me, teach me, and love on me more as we expand our trust in Him and in His plan.  His timing.  His wait.  After all, this is not my story to tell.  It is His.  He has written it and it is planned.  I am getting to the things He has for me to do while I watch it unfold.  Not missing the things that I am to do now as I wait for the things to come.  Expand here.  Expand now. 

Jesus, breathe on these dry bones.  Here is my heart, Lord.  Speak what is true.  Amen

December WaitList Numbers:  #51=Girl  #36=Boy