Last night I had a stirring in my heart. I went online to see the "waiting children" list. My heart was sad for those who wait....a child with a slightly deformed ear waits.....sisters who are 11 and 9 wait.....brothers who are 7 and 4 wait.....my heart was broken. Why are they waiting....where is their family that will walk through the doors of their transition home and say, "you....I choose YOU!" And now.....who knows what the wait will be for them now.
So needless to say....my heart was stirring and I wasn't able to fall asleep. I love my new refrence Bible. I went to the back and looked at the word Patience which means, the power or capacity to endure without complaint. Deep breath....deep breath.....then I looked up all the scripture refrences and in that I found God speaking to me!
Galations 5:22 "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." It is not me that is able to produce the fruit of patience. I have to allow the Holy Spirit to come into my heart and produce this fruit within me! I cannot do it on my own strength...freedom!
2 Peter 3:15 "And remember, Our Lord's patience gives people time to be saved." I need to remember that something bigger than me---something bigger than this adoption is happening in this world----ETERNITY! God longs for all of His children to be in eternity with Him! He longs for each and everyone of us to turn our lives over to Him and accept Him as our Lord and Savioiur! He is willing to wait....patiently.....so everyone has the time to hear who He is and BELIEVE! Which then led me to.....
Ecclesiastes 3:11 "I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from begining to end."
*What beautiful words! It is about eternity! We all have it within us. That tug....that longing for more....that's eternity! Maybe the ache.....maybe the stirring in my heart wasn't that God was calling us to adopt a waiting child---maybe it was my longing for eternity when all things will be made right. Matthew West writes a song called The Reason for the World. With all the natural disasters I have been asking the Lord that...why? Matthew says, "Maybe the reason for the pain, is that we would pray for strength. And maybe the reason for the strength, is so that we would not lose hope. And maybe the reason for the hope, is that we could face the world. And the reason for the world....is to make us long for home!"
I know my burden will be made beautiful by God in HIS TIME alone! I don't know why what is happening in Ethiopia is happening. I must rest in God's plan----I must surrender myself. It isn't about me....there is something much bigger happening! I may never know this side of Glory "why", but if it means that just one person sees Jesus in all of this....than so be it!