Not the Loss of a Dream.....Just a Loss of My Plan

I definately am a human being......I am definately not a compartmentalizer.....tonight.....I sure wish that I was!  I want to say that this weekend was great, but to be honest....it has had some hard ups and downs.  I will never forget the day I went to the doctor for my usual check up while pregnant with Savanah.  My doctor sat down, looked at me and said, "something came up on your ultrasound and we need to discuss it."  That day forever changed me.  It forever changed me taking for granted a healthy, perfect, no problem pregnancy.  And it forever changed the fact that I know for sure there is a God on a throne in Heaven who is in control of ALL things, holds ALL things in His hands....the very hands that took the nails MY sins, and the very hands that has MY name engraved on it!  Thankful....humbled......but all the same.....I am human.  I remember that those last months of pregnancy were hard.  I was no longer in control.  It didn't matter what I ate, drank, how much exerices I did....nothing could grow another vein to my umbilical chord to give Savanah more oxygen, blood, and food.....nothing.  All I could do was pray and trust.  On November 20th at 3:18pm our little Savanah entered this world and the first thing out of my doctor's mouth was, "There are THREE veins here!"  We were all in disbelief.  Just days ago, we were in the office of the specialist looking at an HD television at our daughter counting the veins as only 2......she is HEALED! 

On Tuesday March 8th.....I felt as though I had walked into the doctor's office and she said, "Something has come up in Ethiopia and we need to talk about it."  Nothing I do can change the situation or the outcome.  I am once again at the same place....trust.....pray....trust....pray.  And when I held my miracle baby Savanah last night I kenw that God was reminding me of when He had been faithful in the past and how He will ALWAYS remain faithful now!  But I must say.....the not knowing.....just like with Savanah.....makes my heart ache in ways only a mother knows. 
Lord Jesus,
I come to you tonight weary and full of hope!  Full of joy that you love me so much that I KNOW you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  Lord you know the ache in my heart because you have a more intense ache for your children!  There are so many unknowns, so many questions, so many doubts.  But I know FOR SURE that in all things you are still God and no matter what the circumstance I love you.  I pray, Father, for comfort for all of those who ache with me tonight.  I pray that the State Department would have wisdom and discernment, that discussions would go well, and that the Prime Minister would have a willing spirit.  I know that you placed him into power for a specific purpose and I know that no one is more powerful than you and that no decision is made without you first purposing it.  I thank you for my family and friends whom you have surrounded me to lift me up and love me!  I thank you for those advocates working tirelessly for those who cannot help themselves.  I know that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with you Lord.  I thank you for the opportunity to sit at your feet!  AMEN

Nikki DeSimone(my angel):  #33,737
Keri Weddle:  #32,673
Megan Schueller:  #32,934
Ali LeFevre:  #32,984

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