Yesterday was a really hard Mom day.  Well, it was a hard day just in general.  It might be better for me to give you a little background.  

About three weeks ago I saw a picture of the most adorable boy.  And I do mean, adorable.  We will call him baby B.  He came into my life quickly and stole my heart even faster.  This boy was listed on a waiting child list of another agency.  He is waiting because he is 3 years old and he is a boy.  I have seen MANY children on waiting lists.  MANY.  And none have ever brought the emotion that sweet baby B did for me.  After talking it over with Dave we decided that we would not know if we didn't take some steps forward.  I contacted the agency and we chatted about him.  I must say that reading a file for a child who is orphaned is no cake walk.  It is heart wrenching.  I have always known that brokenness must come before redemption but that doesn't make the brokenness any less hard.  But through praying, scripture, praying, intense conversations, more praying....the Lord never gave us the move forward.  And so....my prayers for baby B have changed.  I pray that his forever family will see his sweet face and say "yes" to him!  I pray that if we are his family that the Lord would move undeniably in our hearts!  Just like every step of this process baby B was brought in my life for many reasons and many lessons:
1.  I spent a lot of time on my knees (always a great thing)
2.  Dave and I began to pray together.  Here is an area that we have always wanted to be better at as a couple.  Baby B caused us to unify in prayer
3.  The Lord showed me that He is the one who rescues!  I am not the rescuer and say a prayer for the one I think I should rescue.  God is the one who places the lonely in families...not me!  Thankful for this lesson!
4.  I saw the Lord's tenderness.  Complete tenderness.  Because there are days now when I don't think about baby B and then something will happen and his face is etched in front of me again.  Then the Lord is sweet to take care of my grieving heart for him.  
5.  I get the honor to pray for a child on the other side of the world.  To learn a little of the Father's love for an orphan! 

I would love if you pray for baby B!  He needs a family!  Pray that the Lord will lead his family to him and provide for their every step!

Now more lately....the Lord has showed me that I have 365 days.....now it is more like 358 days, until we start the school rat race here in my house.  Maren is 4 1/2 and Savanah is 2 1/2 so we have a whole year before Maren walks through the doors for Kindergarten.  And school is a train that one cannot stop or slow down!  And from what other say, this is a stage I will wish back!  And I want to not wish back one thing!  I want to make sure that this year is full of me investing my focus in my kids and family.  Really solidifying great routines and being intentional with my time.  They are the most important thing to me and I want to have the best time with them!  So....we have been on some adventures lately and some days are just hanging out, playing games, swinging in the backyard, and our most favorite, lunches in the fort :)  Oh...did I forget that we love watching the Cosby show as our wind down to nap time?  

And maybe in 365 days I will be the Mom of 3!  Maybe the Lord is asking me to embrace these days because soon my heart will be opened wider for another love!  Reminds me of my last few months being pregnant with Savanah.  I began to grieve being the mom of 1.  Maren and I were two peas in a pod together!  We went on many adventures!  I knew that the dynamic of our family would change and I was sad (and scared) about that.  And Savanah has added a new dynamic to our family but our family would not be the same without her!  She brings fullness of life, goofiness, cuddles, sweet kisses, and many time outs ;)  And now I am not sure what life will be like with 3.  Different for sure.  Better for sure!  But me and my girls are going to embrace being me and the girls!  

What season are you in that you should embrace with fullness?  Let's not miss a moment that this life has to give us.  We have been given this time for a reason!  

Here's to some fun days ahead!

*Took the girls to the Zoo and had a ball

*We went to Shatto Milk Company with our friends the Heinauer's!  Had a great time tasting all sorts of flavored milk, milking a cow, petting new kitties, tasting cheese and butter, having a picnic!

*As it is still summer, we had to have an ice cream trip!

*We had to get an oil change for the mini van, so we made it a breakfast and coffee date yesterday morning at our favorite Ethiopian coffee shop, Revocup!


We are in the process of updating our Home Study!  Once your Home Study is one year old you have to do an update!  And soon we will get new fingerprints at Immigration again!  Hopefully we will only have to do this one time!  So here are pics of us before we got fingerprinted.  I know Dave looks more than excited about the picture!  haha!  We have also had our home visit with our awesome social worker so she is hard at work with that Home Study update!  Feels good to have stuff to do in this wait time!  

1 comment:

  1. You are so wise!!! I love reading your blog, it really brings insight into my own life. Thanks for letting us know about your struggles and your successes! It helps to know that I'm not the only one...and while we aren't going through the exact same things, we are going through similar things (enjoying the moment and where life is currently). I'm praying for your family and for Baby B!!!