**Note: I awoke at 3AM with this musing on my heart. I immediately typed it up on my phone.....
Time is a funny thing. There is hesitation for me (now) in sharing our adoption story because I fear the pity. I fear the resounding "aw". I never want myself to go there. I know me far too well. I don't want to venture into that old self of self pity and feeling sorry for myself state of affairs. I know that I am a new york minute away from becoming a grumbling Israelite. So I must do lots of self check throughout the day. I have said many times that this wait has been the best thing I have ever done. Even Dave reminded me of that before going to bed.
Just when I begin to think that the Lord has forgotten about the orphan we hear of a 7 year old being matched. Our agency announces that there are 7 children waiting for paperwork and then they will be matched. Another sweet girl is matched with a family I adore. And then all of the sudden, the fire is struck again. And I am once again reminded, He is for the orphan like never before. Even when news stories paint international adoption as all bad (forgetting the system here in the states that could really use help).....quietly He is working. Because He doesn't get swayed by this world. Media doesn't shake Him. Government decisions don't throw Him off or surprise Him. He just continues to do His work; one child at a time, one family at a time, one life at a time. Always doing the impossible and always showing up.
On Sunday this was His message for me. We sang two worship songs that resonated so deep in my heart I knew He was speaking to me. The words poured over me like waves crashing the beach.
Song #1: Never Let Go
"And I can see a light that is coming for a heart that holds on. A glorious light beyond all compare. And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes, we'll live to know you here on the earth. And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me. And if my God is with me. Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear? Oh no, you never let go. Through the calm and through the storm. Oh, no, you never let go. In every high and every low. Oh, no, you never let go. Lord you never let go of me."
Song #2: Our God is Greater
"Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in power our God. Our God. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then who could stand against?"
I knew He was whispering to me: "Don't forget how big I AM. Don't forget that I am King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Don't forget that when you imagine just how big I am......I am so much bigger than you can imagine." I don't want to forget. I want to remember. That is what the Lord continued to tell the Israelites in the wilderness. "Do not forget!" "Remember!" I want to, Lord because your word for them is for me too, "I have brought you out, that I may bring you in....." Deuteronomy 6:23
So my response to someone who hears we have been waiting 29 months......."Don't you worry, friend! He has brought me out, to bring me in. And there is no other place I would rather be." But it was time that brought me to this place........a funny thing time is.....